I married my friends! It ended up with "By the powers vested in me..." but let's start at the beginning. Several years ago, following the lead of my friend, the Reverend Alan Joyce, I became an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. Giddy with excitement, I then upgraded my involvement with the ULC, and after meeting their stringent liquidity requirement I also received an Honorary Doctorate of Divinity from the same fine institution. That was 1994. Since that time, I have done very little with the credential. A few weeks ago however, a friend (after a suggestion by your faithful servant) explained that he would like for me to conduct his upcoming wedding ceremony. I happily agreed and proceeded to bolster my call from above with a civil endorsement to conduct weddings as well. (I became a Notary Public.) Now, I am able to conduct weddings in the state of South Carolina, and have now married my friends. Let me be the first to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Shanin.